remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
