ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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