Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
