I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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