chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
