i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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