I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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