I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
