your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
