i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
