No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
