It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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