Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
