I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
