girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
