i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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