I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
