so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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