I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
