"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
