If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
