Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
