so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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