just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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