is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
