She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
