I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
