Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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