I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
