Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
