I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
