Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
