his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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