I feel great
I just peed on a car
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
