dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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