you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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