I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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