I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Nicole vs. Life
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
