I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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