I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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