hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Can you bring me the toilet please
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
