I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
