It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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