shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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