Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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