his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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