PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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