if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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