After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
