I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
